dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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