well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
