birth control should be required to get into college
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The dick lei will go down in squad history
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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