My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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