ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
