Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
