I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
