is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
