What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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