no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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