is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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