apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
