just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
