Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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