Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
