I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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