She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
