it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I believe in your delicious
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
