I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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