May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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