So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
