I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he was CRYING into my vagina
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How external is "for external use only"?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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