How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
