I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
