Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
