BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My feet surprised me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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