I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
A bitchslap is in order.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
