So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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