I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
