thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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