i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
