I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
