You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
