I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
