I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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