I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
