she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
