i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
