mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
