Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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