This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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