yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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