It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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