The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
