This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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