I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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