There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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