my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
