Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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