i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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