I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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