Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
