my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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