Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
